Today, was a rough day. Spencer got back the results back from his pathology report to see which mutation the melanoma was. We were hoping and praying for a certain mutation that has great success rate with a certain chemotherapy drug. Unfortunately, that was not the mutation that came back. I found myself for the first time in this whole process very angry. Angry at God, angry with this disease, and angry at the doctors.
Most of the time I am very level headed and have a sense of the bigger picture. The moment got the better of me today, and I found myself cursing God. I asked why couldn't we just get one shred of some good news. Something to cling onto and help us in our prayers for hope.
Today I officially gave it ALL to GOD. I am done praying for what I want to happen. I have been going about this the wrong way, and instead should be praying for God's will. I am sorry if this article is being blunt, but I just want everyone out there who continues to struggle like me, that I want them to give it ALL to GOD also.
Romans 8:28
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Am continuously praying,Trey. The Body of Christ is here to hold up your arms when you can no longer do so. Exodus 17. May we be like Aaron and Hur! Thank you for your updates and for your raw honesty.
ReplyDeleteTrey, as as a cancer survivor, I know personally that you must always cling onto faith as your "hope". “Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading." Try to remember during these difficult times that “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows; it empties today of its strength.” Trust in the Lord and may you ALL gain strength from God’s loving arms with each new day.
ReplyDeleteI am a nurse on 3East. I did not get the opportunity to have Spencer as my patient, but I know our entire floor, our friends, and family are all praying for him. I am a Christian and please remember this verse when you get weak. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
ReplyDeleteYou all are in our prayers.
Leah